Valuable Dating Advice

“She wasn’t impressed,” Burger King said, his voice pained. “Like, not at all. I don’t know what I did wrong. Or maybe it wasn’t anything I did. Maybe she was having a bad day for whatever reason.”

Colonel Sanders raised his hands in a dismissive gesture. “Beats me, dude. From what you said, you did everything right.”

“Hardly.” Earl Grey drank from his teacup and dabbed his lips and grand mustache with a cloth napkin. He said, “After you’ve been dating a woman for a while, she’ll probably be okay with a burger and fries on a date. Actually, some women might be okay with that on a first date. But I would not — absolutely not — put Lady Godiva in those categories. You should’ve come to me first and asked for restaurant recommendations for your date with her.”

“What should I do now?” Burger King said.

“Bring her chocolates,” the earl said. “Good-quality chocolates. Apologize to her. Say your judgement was thrown out of whack because you were so taken with her luxurious hair. Suggest another dinner. French this time.”

“French could be good,” the king said.

“It will be good. Wooing a proper lady is a delicate process. One that should not to be taken lightly, my good man.”


copyright © 2021 Dave Williams

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